Liebster Award

Rummy nominated me for the Liebster award and made me punch the air and go all “Yay! Someone likes my blog at least.” Thanks very much for that. Her blog is awesome and fun. I do not kid. Go and have look for yourselves.

liebster-award-logo

Here are the rules listed out for the award:

  1. Link the person who nominated you to your blog post and thank them.
  2. Answer the questions given to you by the nominator.
  3. Nominate other bloggers (not more than 11) for the award.
  4. Create questions for your nominees to answer.
  5. Let the nominees know that they have been nominated by going to their blog and notifying them.

Hmm, so the bloggers I’d like to nominate would be:

  1. Carlos (my blogging buddy :)) at https://thoughtsofatrainwreckedpineapple.wordpress.com/
  2. Sandy (my favorite!) at https://gettingrealwithptsd.wordpress.com
  3. Beingwoke (the most interesting posts) at https://beingwoke.wordpress.com
  4. Shawna (very cool) at http://sincerelyshawna.com/
  5. missbookthief (fellow crazy bookworm) at https://literatureismyporn.wordpress.com/
  6. Fahima (I wish I’d been this awesome as a teenager) at https://mypersonalteenlife.wordpress.com/

I look forward to reading the answers you write to the questions I’ve written below if you get time 🙂

Okay, so Rummy has posted some interesting questions which I will attempt to answer intelligently. Here goes.

1. What got you into blogging?

I have another blog and I started blogging almost 4 years ago there. My brother used to be the most awesome blogger, and one night, I was just  reading his old posts – the ones he’d written when he was in college, and I thought I should try blogging too, instead of writing just in my journal, I’d share it with the world or the 2-3 people who’d actually read it. So, I started my other blog, where I just wrote poetry and sometimes, personal stories. It was scary at first, but fun and I loved it. It’s been dormant for some time now though. I started this blog because I felt I had new things in my life worth writing about and I wanted to do that on a new platform where no one knew me from before or expected me to write in a certain way. I love this blog to pieces.

2.What is the first thing you would do if you had the power to become invisible?

I would be the most boring invisible person on earth. The first thing that I’d do would most probably be taking up residence inside a bookstore or a library, live and die there, dig into all the archives and secret catalogs, read every book I ever want leisurely without spending money, and smuggle in food, chocolates and icecream 😀 Do the objects I touch turn invisible too? If that is the case, I’d take books with me home and relax on my bed or couch to read them.

Harry had the right idea. I’m talking about Potter. The first thing he thought after getting the invisibility cloak was to visit the restricted section of the library. My kinda person.

I should add one more thing, I’d get on a plane and visit my family for a day or two at least (the tickets are too costly and I miss them very much).

Invisible

Invisible

3. What is your favourite motto?

I read this in R. J. Palacio’s book, Wonder, and it’s something I wish everyone followed because it would make the world so much better. Kindness is very important to me.I find it to be the most attractive quality in anyone.

“When given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind.”

4. Do you collect anything?

Broken hearts. Lol. Kidding. I collect stubs and tickets from all the places (and any form of transport I took to get there) I’ve been to. I have too many now. And some of them are withering away, but I still hold on and keep them pressed in my bursting journal, and some in tin boxes.

5. What do you love to do in the mornings?

Sleep. I’m not kidding. I usually fall asleep at about 5 in the morning. My sleep cycle is pretty messed up. Because of work, I’ve been falling dead earlier at around 2 or 3 am recently though, but by the time I get up, it’s at least noon 😀

If I do get up in the morning, I love cooking an elaborate breakfast with pancakes and fried eggs or grilled cheese sandwiches and hot coffee or hot chocolate, and sitting in the sun and pouring over the newspaper while digging into it.

6. What’s your definition of friendship?

Friendship is sticking together always, and if sometimes you get unstuck, finding a way to come back and affix yourself firmly back together. They’re several types of friendships, I think.

I’m going to write my next post on the type of friends I want to be with someone. The best kind of friendship is the pillows kind, which is being comfy whether both of us are silent and doing our stuff or talking and discussing everything for hours, and knowing that no matter how fucked up the other person is, or how bad a fight, we’ll always come back to each other 🙂

7. Which fictional character do you wish you could meet?

This is such a tough one. I want to meet loads of fictional characters. I want to meet Draco Malfoy and hear his side of the story in his own words, but I also want to meet almost everyone from the Harry Potter series and talk to them and analyze and probe them (even the dementors!) Calvin and Hobbes are next on the list. Gotta give them high fives and thank them for the amazing humor and subtle life lessons. Then I want to meet Robbie and Cecilia from Atonement by Ian McEwan and hug them. Same goes for Rudy from The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. And I’d like to have eye-opening conversations with every interesting character from all of Khaled Hosseini’s books. I’ll stop here or it’ll never end. So many more. Countless.

Ohh, I have to mention Chandler from Friends. A guy after my own heart. His sarcasm and awkwardness make me go all “woo”. And Tyrion Lannister from the Game of Thrones (the tv series, not the books), again because of the sarcasm, humor and intelligence. Want to shake his hand (I think it’s mostly because I love Peter Dinklage :D).

kRo9gCg

Life lessons, indeed 😀

Butterfly

Yes?

8. Describe yourself in one sentence.

I’m a curious and complicated cat with vivid imaginings, who is in fact, very much of a dog person.

Phew! Done with the answers. Hope I did a decent enough job.

Here are the questions I’d like the nominees to answer:

  1. Is there one such person in your personal life who hasn’t seen your blog but you want them to? And why?
  2. What are 5 things or personal items always definitely to be found in your bedroom (excluding any kind of furniture :D)?
  3. Which is your favorite novel or book, and why? (I know this is tough because it might be hard to pick just one, but grit your teeth and choose!)
  4. What is the one thing you’re not good at but you still do anyway, without giving a damn? (for example, singing)
  5. What would your ideal vacation be like?
  6. What is the one serious political or social issue that you feel strongly about? And if you’ve written anything about it or want to share something, feel free to leave links.
  7. (a) People are going to not like me for this one, but I really want to post it. Please draw or doodle a self-portrait. It can be silly, small, funny, crazy, serious, a dot, a monkey, a cat, etc. Just a simple pen/ pencil drawing will do. It would just be fun and interesting to see. If someone doesn’t wish do this, you can answer part b. (b) What is something you’d want your future self to remember or be reminded of?
  8.   Who’s your favorite person in the world? Why?

I can’t wait to see your answers, fellow bloggers. This was fun! Thanks again, rummy.

Catch you later!

~ Cat

PS. I don’t own any of the images. I found them by Googling stuff.

Posted in Awards, Experiences, Friendship, Liebster, Life, Thoughts, Writing & Blogging | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

The Perfect Waltz

I miss the shadow of your eyelashes on the pillow as the moonbeams would dance and twirl in through the window, and settle on your peaceful face. Stardust always followed, as if the beams were their carpet of welcome, and the white halo around you, their dance floor. The soft breeze outside was their music, it seemed. All night long, they would waltz – on your cheeks, on your forehead, on your lips, and yes, on your eyelashes. They’d get caught in your hair and shimmer. So perfectly. And all night long, I would watch, mesmerized, as you slept oblivious to the wonder you created. Yes, you created the wonder.

For without you, the moonbeams, the stardust, the wind, they all fall and break on the concave dent of the pillow where your head used to rest, and they shatter into a million pieces as they find nothing now to be captured by and held in; nothing to reflect their beauty.

Harsh white light is all I see now as I stay awake to the sound of the winds howling.


~ Cat

PS. I really wanted to illustrate this, but I wrote it on a whim while lying in bed. Maybe I’ll do a sketch and add it later if I get time. Long hours at work is the reason I haven’t been able to leisurely sketch and write recently.

I’ll try to be more regular with my posts from now on 🙂 Have a lovely day, people.

Posted in Dance, Fiction, Friendship, Insomnia, Life, Love, Memories, Mindstorms, Missing, Moments, Musings and Personal, Prose, Random, Thoughts, Waltz, Writing & Blogging | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Moments

I wrote this as a letter to someone a few weeks ago. I feel like sharing it today.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

I have no anecdotes or little stories to start with today. My day was pretty non-happening. The highlight of my day was sitting on top of a hill at night with two of my friends and watching airplanes go by as they colorfully and confusingly mixed with the twinkling stars.

She closes her eyes for a second. There. Those particular moments are now tucked away in the corners of her mind. She won’t forget for a long time. The feeling that she got while watching the last plane fly by as the breeze caught up in her hair and as she watched the smoke from her friend’s cigarette twirl away into nothing, was a very nostalgic one. How could that be? She was still there. She hadn’t left yet. A month till her own turn to sit on a plane and fly over these lands. Yet, nostalgia was already pulling at her heartstrings; at her mind; at her whole being. She was still there, but all of this was already slipping from her hands. She had looked at her other friend just then, and she knew her own thoughts were reflected in her friend’s eyes. Nostalgia might be contagious. Moments were being tucked away in a lot of corners of a lot of minds. She knows what to write now.

Because I don’t have a lot to share with you today, this letter is going to be about moments. Just some of them. Normal ones, scary ones, extraordinary ones, happy ones, weird ones, bad ones and the good ones. Moments that stayed with me or will stay with me for a long time for some reason or the other. I hope you don’t get bored. They are really personal. You will be one of the very few people to know about them.     

Let’s start with a bad moment: It was my 7th birthday. There was a party to which other children from the colony, people from my rickshaw, neighbors and some friends were invited. It was 7 pm. An hour past the designated time. And there was just one friend there. My childhood friend, Bucchi. No one showed up. It had rained that day in the afternoon; the roads were messy. Bucchi suggested walking to people’s homes and asking them if they’re coming or not. I still have no idea why my parents let me go with her. I remember walking on muddy and slushy streets in my beautiful goldenish birthday frock, and actually ringing people’s bells and knocking on doors. More than an hour of “sorry” faces and shaking heads later, I came back home and told my parents that I never wanted a birthday party ever. And I didn’t. To this day, my face goes hot thinking about it. It makes me feel like shit.

Now, a badass one: I once got so pissed off at the way time was being wasted and the nonsense a teacher was speaking, that quiet and shy, old me suddenly stood up and told the teacher off. In a very loud and angry voice. I said something like,”How long are you going to continue with this? You are completely wasting my time, as well as the other students’ time here. I have an actual exam to give tomorrow, and I cannot listen to this drivel anymore. And you call yourself a teacher, but you can’t even control the crazy and out of control boys (I think I used the word ‘lafoot’ here, which is an Hindi term for “god-for-nothing” ) singing ridiculous songs, and you’re actually smiling. If you don’t tell them to shut up this minute, I will. And, when can I leave?!” Okay, so this was when I was in 10th standard. And okay, I said this at Catechism class, which I was forced to go to by my parents until I put my foot down 😛 Not as badass as a real class, but yeah still. The whole class (of about 30-40 students) went quiet. And my friend next to me, was whispering “sit down, please” and everyone was staring at me and the teacher like a ping pong match was going on. I was so fucking pissed. I had a pre-board exam the next day, and these bunch of boys were singing really sexist shit. I just lost it after 20 minutes or so of listening to that gibberish. The teacher actually went speechless and then said sorry, and told me to sit down, and that he would start teaching properly. This was talked about among students for almost a year. I became the stuff legends are made of. Specially because no one ever expected me to ever speak at all, let alone yell at a teacher 😛

A really good one: I was again 7 years old. My dad used to be on leave on Mondays. Sundays were his half-days then. So he would always be at home when we got back from school. That particular day, he had a surprise for me. He had just come back from somewhere, and he was hiding something behind his back. He told me to close my eyes, and then he took out a roundish box and put it in my outstretched hands. It was a watch. My very first real “grown up” watch. My mom chose it for me. Black thin straps. With a small round dial. Titan. I went crazy. My dad tied it around my wrist. And gave my tiny knuckles a kiss. A very happy moment. I still have the watch.  In my “locker” at home where I keep letters, cards and trinkets like these.

A scary one: My mom. A knife in her hand. She was trying to cut her finger off. As a punishment for me because I lied about something. I remember screaming and being terrified out of my mind. I was 12. My dad came running down and snatched it from her hand before yelling at her in disbelief. Should’ve seen the craziness of the later years coming, huh?

A “facing the reality of the world” one: I witnessed my auto driver get hit by a bunch of rich goons. Two street dogs suddenly came running on the road as our school auto passed, and one ran under the auto, got smushed by the two back wheels. It was horrifying and bloody. Our auto driver stooped immediately to see what had happened and he was horrified as well. Just then people of the colony started collecting, and 4-5 gunda (big bad bullies) type men came and told my auto driver that low class uneducated people like him were responsible for all the shit in the world, like killing their dogs and children. And they told him to pick up the dead dog, all blood and guts, and throw him in the garbage just then. Then they slapped him hard across the face a few times. And I screamed at them to stop, but they told me to shut up and laughed. The other younger children were too scared to utter a word. Our auto driver then picked up the dog, his shirt and hands got covered in blood, and he walked till the garbage bins which were far away, and came back shaking and terrified and joining his hands at the gundas who were laughing and smirking. He got into the auto without a word and started driving rigidly. He was usually an old, jovial guy, very kind. I saw him cry that day. It made me sad. And fucking angry. Humanity, I realized was not something all humans possessed. I wrote it out to my mom in a letter from school. I was 14.

An extraordinary one: I got a letter from my best friend, Yuvva with subject saying “I just love you”. The whole letter was extraordinary. The feelings and emotions they evoked were extraordinary too. I was 23.

These are the moments I’m going to share with you today. I have sooo many more, but I know you are waiting. I’ll share more and more as time passes, and as we get to know each other better. And I’ll listen to and read your moments too.

She’s at the end of the letter. Only one thing is left to say.

~ Cat

Follow your memories upstream...

“Follow your memories upstream…”

Posted in Art, Courage, Doodles, Experiences, Family, Firsts, Friendship, Humans, Humor, Letters, Life, Love, Memories, Moments, Musings and Personal, Ramblings, Sketches, Thoughts, University, Writing & Blogging | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Slowing Down the World

I have a penpal when I was younger, and I was thinking a few days back about how we had been writing back and forth for quite some time, and that I can rule that this penpal experiment of ours had been successful, and that it will continue being so in the futur should I choose another pen pal.. Nice feeling, that is.

I feel like we’re a part of something different and special because we’re living in a world that is fast-paced, that is changing every minute, that is full of technology and new things, and here we are writing letters to each other. Yes, I know technically, we are emailing them, instead of posting them to one another the old-fashioned way, but this is better because we can write everyday, without waiting to hear from each other for weeks and days.

Okay, hold on, I just had an image of me tying scrawls of a letter to my raven and sending it my penpal’s way. I wrote the letter with an actual quill dipped in dark blue ink with beautiful penmanship. I am also wearing a corseted Victorian style dress, but my corset’s secretly slutty, well because, it’d be a shame not to be a secretly slutty Victorian woman if ever given the chance 😛 And I keep my hair open, unlike the other women who braid their hair or put it in buns like proper ladies, and wear incredibly huge and decorative hats. They frown upon me just because of that. Victorian men and women were snobs, I tell you. Ohh this is turning out to be an interesting story. I will continue this story in another rambling maybe. How and where did I, Victorian Cat cross paths with the heavily booted, ever smirking and charming person? And why are we exchanging secret letters? Are we secret Victorian assassins planing to murder the queen or are we members of the elite cult of Master Penmen? Find out in the next episode of Victorian Cat Tales 😀

Oops, I digressed quite a lot. So, as I was saying, here we are writing letters and slowing down the world and time in our own way. I think there are certain things that can slow down the world – handwritten or typed letters, quiet starry nights, quiet cloudy nights, storms with thunder and lightening, secondhand books and diaries with yellowed brittle pages, reading amazing novels, black and white photographs capturing moments, kissing, empty beaches (specially at night) with waves, valleys untouched and surrounded by hills or mountains, listening to beautiful music alone or with only one or two people present in any of these settings, the way leaves on trees dance around with sunbeams as if only they can hear the music, watching rain fall through a window and catching the fragrance of wet mud in the air, the smell of rosecookies as Christmas comes closer (you have to come to my house to experience this one), watching old sitcoms and series like The Wonder Years or movies like It’s a Wonderful Life all snuggled up in your pjs with the family, laughing till the tummy hurts, watching your dog snuggle up to you sleepily as you pet, scratch and have one-sided conversations (which they seem to understand) with them, watching someone’s face as they sing to you, whispered or low conversations and rambles in the night with just one other person next to you, sipping on a steaming mug of hot chocolate or coffee as you take in any of these moments – I’m sure I forgot quite a lot and haven’t experienced many more, or simply, didn’t look hard enough.

Slow down, world.

Slow down, world.

Sometimes, we forget to take a breather. Sometimes, we forget that it’s us who have to stop running and slow down first in order to watch the world slow down. When the world slows down, you find moments that got lost in the rush hour; moments that were small yet were meant to be savored and appreciated. They were right there in front of you all this time. They just needed you to be still and look harder for them.

I just took a moment to appreciate that I had an entire person who used to slow down the world for me when I would forget to do so. How awesome is that?

~ Cat

PS. What slows down the world for you? And for what, or for whom, do you slow down the world?

Posted in Art, Doodles, Experiences, Friendship, Humor, Life, Love, Musings and Personal, Ramblings, Sketches, Thoughts, Writing & Blogging | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Missing

Yesterday I clicked a photo of a beautiful graffiti with a tree sprouting out like a crown from behind the wall it was painted on. It was mesmerizing and I stared at it for a long time, trying to find one thing to hold on to in the blur of the colors, the shapes, the strokes. It’s surreal – trying to find something to hold on to in something you’re lost in. Finding something? Finding someone? Myself, maybe? About damn time.

I went missing. Unintentionally at first, because life got in the way. Intentionally later, because again, life got in the way.

I had so much newness in my life over the past two months, and there were mindstorms after mindstorms, and just as I gave in to the newness, to the whirlwind of emotions, to the words and happiness, with a lot of trust and love, and genuinely believed in their permanence, things fell apart, like they usually do. I feel sucker-punched.

I’m here now though. I think I’m still missing. But I love this blog, even though I’d just started it when I suddenly stopped writing, so I’m going to come back to the familiar and try to find myself here, through my writings and ramblings, and my weird sketches. I feel awful for having neglected it.

For those readers who actually looked me up and left comments and were concerned about my disappearance, thank you so much. I’ve missed reading your words on your own blogs and having little conversations with you. I hope I’m here for good now. Let’s give it another go, shall we?

~ Cat

'Finding colors'

Finding colors

PS. After looking at the graffiti carefully, I think it’s about some weird ritual involving an evil bunny rising from the fire held up by a wooden robot wearing a red t-shirt with a white heart, which itself is rising from a bed of pink flowers.  I pat myself on the back: “Nice stuff to find yourself in, Cat.”

Posted in Life, Musings and Personal, Ramblings, Thoughts, Writing & Blogging | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Loud Quiet

Closing the bedroom door, she rests her back against it and takes a deep breath. Off come the heels first and her aching feet sigh approvingly. The next to go and join the boots at her feet is the orange dress she wore all day. She steps out of it, and goosebumps form all over her skin with the chill. She likes it though. Then goes her watch that had been caging her wrist all day, reminding her of the amount of time she spent away from her haven. She climbs into bed then, in her black bra, black knickers and her dangling earrings, and swaddles herself in the blanket like a cocoon. This. This is what she needed all day. The non-colors. The comfort. The familiarity. Just being herself. The quiet. She realizes now that only when her surroundings that had been filled with laughter, talk and loudness were replaced by this familiar hush, did her mind wake up. Now that all was quiet, her thoughts started talking loudly.       

I had a long, long day yesterday. I slept for like 3 hours and then had to get up, get ready and leave for this awesome lunch buffet with my friends. I was floored by the size of the restaurant and the arrangements, and I don’t I’ve seen so much food at the same place since I’ve been to uni. It was quite crowded but still had a lot of empty tables, and wasn’t loud. We got a nice big couch cum chairs table and everyone went just crazy then, roaming around the whole restaurant, trying to decide what to dig our fangs into first. There were so many things. Too much variety. Ugh. Places like these are a starving college student’s paradise. With the lunch, we got a pitcher of Berry Kiss for everyone to share. I love cocktail names. I’m guessing that a lot of thought is put into them to make them sound luscious, funny, interesting and/ or sinful.

After lunch, we went for a walk across the docks. The weather was lovely. It was sunny but it was still horribly windy, and I was getting worried that my dress was going to blow up and I’d give everyone out for the day a free show, but thank heavens, the material of the dress was thick. I got two dark bitter chocolate slabs from a shop after that to indulge into later, soothing my craving for just 30p each. I think sin must taste like bitter chocolate. That’s how I imagine it. Dark, satisfying, yet bitter. Some people wanted to go shopping then, so I just picked up a few shorts at this store, went to one of the changing rooms, took off my boots and sat there for almost 20 minutes trying to gather my thoughts in the quiet and rest my feet at the same time. I wonder if many people just do that. Escape into a trial room while on a hectic shopping spree to get away from the world for sometime. Anyway, we ended up going to the beach after that, and I really, really wanted a banana ice cream again but the shop was too far, so I made my peace and released my frustration by cursing at the hungry hoards of seagulls nearby. After this, we decided to go to a pub called King and Queen. It seemed like no one wanted to go back home, as if everyone was avoiding facing the reality of dissertations and project submissions looming, and would rather waste away the evening doing nothing than face their empty rooms and their guilt. The pub was pretty neat. The bouncer outside asked me and one of my friends if we were really over 18, though and that was just annoying! :/ “I am 23, Sir, and I’m a postgrad student,” I told him,  insulted that no one believes that anywhere I go.  I showed him my ID, and he was like, “Ohh surprising,” but he winked at us and told us to have a smashing night, so I forgave him. Once inside, we got Screaming Orgasms (I really need to know how they come up with these cocktail names) which were really awesome, as I imagined they would be 😀 I had an Alabama Slammer later which was yum as well. I took a sip of Sex on the Beach which a friend had ordered, and it was interesting and breezy, just like I imagine the actual thing would be like. We played two drinking games the whole time. The first was “Two truths and a lie” and the other one “Paranoia”. The second one was really fun, and everyone was buzzed by then, so it was a bit outrageous, dirty and funny. The rules of the game were like this: a person has to whisper a question into their neighbor’s ear, and the neighbor has to announce the answer to the table, and the answer has to be the name of a person in the group or someone they all know, and if anyone wants to know what the question was, they have to take a sip of their drink. Lots of hilarious stuff came out. Some of it though, was really nice and sweet to hear. For example, a friend said that if she were stuck on an island for the rest of her life, she’s most likely to choose me to be her companion, the reason being that I talk a lot and she’d be entertained her whole life. I also found out that another friend trusts me the most out of all of us. And that another wanted to be my friend from the instant she met me. These things surprised me. A lot. And I wonder if all of those who said them realize I’m never going to forget how it made me feel, all warm and fuzzy, to hear it out loud.

Well, that was our evening. And the moment I got back, I wanted to crash. I thought a lot throughout the day whenever my surroundings went quiet. When I got home, I felt sort of laughed out and for some reason, felt on the verge of tears. I wanted my dark world back. I really like colors. I’ve only discovered them recently, I think. And the company of friends. I’ve never had many before. I like that too. But, I think, I’ll always return back to the darkness. I find comfort in it. I don’t know if it’s healthy or not, but I just need it to be there. And the quiet and only myself to talk to. My mind slowly chugged back to power. I felt a weird kind of guilt. At having spent the whole day outside, when I had so much work pending. I didn’t spend much money as it was very well budgeted, so I didn’t feel guilty about that. I felt sort of lost too. I felt like I needed to be in arms that covered my back, tucked into a warm body and I just wanted to fall asleep like that. Pillow style.

I have no idea what I’ve been writing for the past hour in pauses and gaps. There’s no head or tails to this post. It’s not even a proper rambling. It’s detached and broken, and in loops here and there, just like me. My mind is too much muddled up, tired and Orgasmed out from yesterday. I just wanted to put all this out there because I was wondering how many people feel the same way: their thoughts asleep when they’re surrounded by people or are lost in a crowd. Their minds being switched on, and the silhouetted and vague forms their thoughts had been all day, taking vivid forms and getting solidified only in the quiet.

I feel that my mind bursts into colors in the dark, and maybe goes black and white when there are too many hues, lots of noise and human figures surrounding me. Familiarity and darkness are things I return to, and then sigh in relief as soon as I’m enveloped by them.

She is shivering, her hands shaking, her whole body shaking. “What is happening?,” she thinks aloud and then she buries her head in her pillow, wishing it could be a human pillow instead. Her phone buzzes then. It’s her human pillow, getting up from his restless sleep. Her mind starts calming down again, only to be replaced by mindstorms the next minute.

~ Cat

PS. Here’s a photo collage that kind of represents my whole day yesterday 🙂

20150719_022124_1

Glimpses of the quiet (left) and the loud (right)

Posted in Beaches, Experiences, Friendship, Humor, Life, Musings and Personal, Ramblings, Summer, Summer Days, Thoughts, University, Writing & Blogging | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Would you rather?

I just have a very small thought brewing around in my mind today.

A friend of mine shared a very personal story of heartbreak and regret with me, and it made me feel a bit helpless for them. I wish I could be of comfort somehow. It takes a lot of courage to share your personal demons with someone else or write them down, because it means you’re facing them yourself, and then going a step further putting your mistakes, your regrets and your story out there, ready to be judged and scrutinized by the world. And I just think that’s really brave.

A little something I’d written a while ago seemed  to go with the whole shitty experience my friend went through. I think almost everyone goes through similar kinds of experiences and situations at some point or the other in their lives.

I just wanted to share it:

Would you rather spend one amazing night with someone,                                 Or years of heartache sprinkled with love?

Be the one perfect memory tucked away in the corner of their mind,             Sought out when everything in their life is in pieces –

Or would you rather be the one that holds their hand, gently tugs them back to the present, and helps pick up those pieces?

It’s just as tough being the imperfect reality as it is being the perfect dream.

Scanned at 2-12-2014 16-19 PM (21)

Free hugs for anyone who could do with one or maybe two, or even more 🙂

~Cat

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